In Fallston, Route 152 divides two legislative districts. On the northern side of 152 where the Roni Chenowith Activity Center and Fallston Middle and High Schools are located, the residents of Fallston are represented by District 35A in the Maryland General Assembly. The south side of Route 152 is represented by District 7 up until Pleasantville Road.
I have often said that it is an act of God and the fact that He does show mercy on us that I live on the District 35A side of Route 152. The legislative team of Senator Barry Glassman and Delegates Wayne Norman and Donna Stifler do not pull any public antics of the variety concocted by the District 7 delegation that have been worthy of my comment in the past, but I consider it one of the more reasonable Republican representations when you look at the bigger picture of GOP representation.
And yet, for some reason, even though I live in District 35A, I still find that I get updates in my mailbox from District 7 Delegate Kathy Szeliga. Therefore, between those letters and her updates on the Dagger, I get the scoop on everything she is doing in Annapolis.
Or rather, what she is trying to make sure she’s not doing.
On her list of things she has tried to fend off, she touts trying to stop male teachers from wearing dresses in a classroom by expressing what concern it may have for the students in said classroom. Of course, if male teachers start wearing dresses to school, that would mean that students would start talking about their teachers behind their back and starting humors. Oh, heaven forbid! While we’re on the subject, I am curious as to why Delegate Szeliga is silent on the idea of women wearing jeans. Isn’t that some form of gender confusion that can only be addressed by Delegate Szeliga?
Delegate Szeliga expresses a sigh of relief that as a supporter of “traditional marriage,” the same-sex union measure did not pass in the General Assembly this year. So as a supporter of traditional marriage, Delegate Szeliga is in essence saying that she is favor of a form of marriage that has a 50-50 chance at ending in a nasty divorce. Leave it to Delegate Szeliga to make sure that in a world where the deck is often stacked against love and happiness that two people who happen to be of the same gender who share a love for one another are as miserable in this world as Delegate Szeliga presumably is with herself.
Instead of touting her accomplishments in what she has done as most elected officials are typically cast as doing, Delegate Szeliga is instead saying that she has accomplished much during her first session in Annapolis by saying she is not only making sure certain legislation does not pass, but mentioning that she is getting nothing done.
You would think that because Kathy Szeliga did not appear on the Team Ehrlich 2010 slate with J.B. Jennings for State Senate and Rick Impallaria and Pat McDonough for House of Delegates that Delegate Szeliga would be more, you know, reasonable than the rest of the District 7 delegation.
Boy was I wrong!
It turns out that as State Delegate, Kathy Szeliga makes me yearn for the days when District 7 was represented by now-Congressman Andy “I Want My Government-Run Health Care To Kick In Immediately Even Though I Want To Gut Medicare For Seniors As Well As Health Benefits For Everyone But Myself And My Wealthy Contributors” Harris.
Delegate Szeliga may be busy will all of the legislation she is trying to make sure does not get passed, but at least she still finds time to pose for pictures with a Dr. Seuss character and posts it in the March 5 Dagger article “Del. Szeliga: ‘A Dime A Drink’ Tax Would Impose Increases of 569% for Liquor, 640% for Wine & 1,189% for Beer.”
Do you see the anthropomorphic mischief-maker in that picture? She’s the one posing next to the Cat in the Hat?
Now Tom, you might be asking yourself, while I do find your commentary and send-ups of op-ed pieces that you submit insightful and brilliantly funny (Oh stop. I’m blushing), can’t you think of anything nice to say about Delegate Szeliga? What has she ever done to you?
I’m glad you asked. Now, don’t interrupt me again.
During the process of campaigning for the Board of Education’s District B seat this past summer, I had a couple of occasions to meet and converse with Kathy Szeliga. One particular occasion stands out in my mind. In the process of campaigning with another General Assembly candidate in Abingdon, I met Kathy Szeliga and we started talking about our respective campaigns. It was actually a nice conversation and I found Kathy Szeliga to be a very pleasant person. She asked for my campaign literature which I obliged and handed over. Upon getting a peek at a bumper sticker on my truck for then-Congressman Frank Kratovil, one of the more independent Democratic members of Congress who voted against three versions of what conservative activists love to call with some sense of dread “Obamacare,” Kathy Szeliga returned my literature and said, “Sorry. If you’re supporting Frank, then I can’t support you.”
Ah, I see. I was supporting at least one (as I said before, an independent) candidate on the Democratic ticket, so I couldn’t even be bothered to have my piece of literature read and my views examined and my campaign even acknowledged. I found Kathy Szeliga made a very bizarre assumption considering that as a Non-Partisan candidate, I appeared with her on the Republican primary ballot in seven different precincts and I have gone the bipartisan route in the past by supporting and voting for Joanne Parrott, Wayne Gilchrest, Joe Woods and Derek Hopkins, all of whom ran on the Republican ticket.
I do have to give Delegate Szeliga credit for some things. I want to offer my praise because I have in the past been in the interesting position of having been accused of being a partisan, a leftie, a communist and the scum of the earth, often by the same people who accuse me of being a hate monger and a name caller.
It’s nice to recognize that my critics have no sense of irony.
In all due fairness to one of the newest members of the Harford County delegation to the Maryland General Assembly, Delegate Szeliga did mention in her April 2011 letter “… that I passed my first bill during my freshman year. This new law will ensure that hot air balloon businesses are exempted from amusement taxes.
A constituent brought this to my attention. Under federal law, hot air balloon businesses should not be subjected to state head/amusement taxes. However, Up Up
Away Balloons in Baldwin had to fight this tax for many years. HB 499’s passage ensures that this cottage industry will not have to spend time in tax court anymore. This bill was signed into law April 12, 2011.”
In her defense, it is admirable that as a State Delegate Kathy Szeliga took up a cause and found an inconsistency between state and federal law and rectified it.
On a more satirical note, though, it is interesting that her first legislative accomplishment is the result of one thing full of hot air coming to the defense of another.
I also have to say that while she did make a point of posting a photo on the Dagger of her PR moment with the Cat in the Hat, she didn’t make a PR nightmare by posing with a public television children’s character from, for example, Sesame Street. Sesame Street is firmly entrenched in my mind as a show that may very well lose funding if her political party gets its way in Congress on defunding the Public Broadcasting System. Looking at a picture of Delegate Szeliga with a children’s character from PBS would be like looking at a wedding portrait of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn. However, if we want to have an accurate comparison, Henry VIII would already be holding the axe in his hand.
In conclusion, with all due fairness to you, Delegate Szeliga, you are taking the time to update me on what you have (not) been up to in the Maryland General Assembly. Thank you, Kathy, for giving me enough material with which I can work.
Your most satirically ardent admirer,