Everybody seems to be taking swipes at other people these days because of statements they make. I have been accused more often than not of doing that. In many of those cases, I am happy to plead guilty as charged. With that being said, I am willing to reform my old ways and work hard to try to get along with everybody. Even if it’s just for a few moments, I believe we can all hold hands and in a magical Kumbaya moment for all of humanity.
Okay, those few moments are over now. It’s time for me to get back to work.
Listen to this statement made by the co-chair of President Obama’s deficit commission, Alan Simpson, former Senator from Wyoming, as he discusses on Fox’s “Your World with Neil Cavuto” on March 7 the perils that those relying on Social Security are facing: “And by doing nothing — if they care at all about their children or grandchildren — now, sometimes, I doubt that — I think, you know, grandchildren now don’t write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They’re walking on their pants with their cap on backward listening to the ‘Enema Man’ and ‘Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog,’ and they don’t like them.”
I have to say that I have a tremendous amount of respect for anyone who has to transcribe the transcripts of any of those cable news talk shows that you can find on their websites. In fact, for that reason alone, the people who provide transcripts for the shows at Fox News are about the only people employed by Fox News who have earned my respect.
(Okay, I do have a friend who graduated from Fallston High School a year ahead of me who is now a producer Fox News in their DC bureau. She and her husband are both conservatives, but I respect them, their right to have the views that they have even if I disagree with them and what is in their hearts. My Democratic and my left-leaning friends can catch their breath at that last statement while the rest of us move on.)
Now, I’m sure Senator Simpson knows a lot more about the detailed intricacies of Social Security than me. However, I know more about pop culture than Senator Simpson. I know, for a fact, that the guy’s name is Eminem and he was the star of the movie “8 Mile.” I know this because the guy has been around since I was in high school, which is ten years ago. And I have taken advantage of those ten years to get his name right. Also, I know the second guy has changed his stage name a few times, but even someone like me who doesn’t follow rap music knows that the guy shortened his name to “Snoop Dogg.” Yes, Senator Simpson, he shortened because he knew there were too many dumb white guys who couldn’t say “Snoop Doggy Dogg!” Because he made it easy for you, please understand that no adding of extra syllables is necessary.
Besides, “Eminem” and “Snoop Dogg” are easier names to get right than their real names, Marshall Bruce Mathers, III and Cordozar Calvin Broadus, respectively. I would hate to see Senator Simpson butcher those names.
If I learned anything that has helped me to graduate from high school and college and use my skills in the years since, it is my knowledge that if I want to cite a celebrity to make a point, then I know I have to correctly say the name of the person making us collectively scratching our heads (i.e.; Lady Gaga, or as Senator Simpson would most likely call her “Lady Gagagitty Goo Goo.”)
If Senator Simpson can’t even say the man’s name correctly, then why should I feel comfortable with the idea of trusting him to create a solution to solve any problem with Social Security? I mean, the guy is a former United States Senator! Presumably, he has contributed more to society and has a better ability to say someone’s name right than your average Dagger comment writer! If that isn’t the case, then my last name isn’t “Yyers.” I’m sorry, “Meyers.” I think. Yeah, that’s the correct spelling. We all know how reliable those Dagger comments are.
In conclusion, Senator Simpson has convinced me that I want more of my paycheck to go into Social Security. Our seniors need to have access to the resources that they need in order to live comfortably and give them the option to use those resources to prevent them from having more moments similar to those experienced by Senator Simpson! Also, I believe that the more money from Social Security that our seniors are able to receive, the more they are able to afford to pay for doctor visits where the real “Enema Man” will perform in a way that will not earn them an Oscar or an MTV Movie Award. However, one day they may examine an Oscar or even a Tony!