Forget Wall Street, Invest In Something That Really Has Growth Potential – American Celebrity

This installment of Ask A Smartass will attempt to tackle a question that has been on the minds of many Americans these days: Is our country in a recession? Warning: if you hate to hear about money issues or you love capitalism with all of your heart, you may not want to proceed in reading.

Due to a new experimental investing strategy in the country, the economy has hit a recession. Investments have been the strength of the United States economy, so when this risky experimental investment started, many thought nothing of it. But now, as investors have clearly made bad decisions, the entire country is suffering. You may be asking yourself, what is this new investment strategy? Well, it is all the rage now to invest in celebrities. Since they make so much money, why not have them take on shareholders and boost their income while taking others along for ...Continue Reading

Tags: britney spears, Carlin, celebrity, dagger, dagger press, greenspan, recession, smartass

Remove At Your Own Risk: Can you get in trouble for taking the tag off a mattress?

Got a question burning a hole in your brain? If so, you’re in luck. Here’s your chance ask ‘Ask a Smartass.’ Urban legend, true mystery or idiotic pondering, I will attempt to tackle anything. So, without further ado, I kick off this column with a question most people should be familiar with:

Can you really get in trouble with the law by removing a mattress tag?

The answer to this is simply: Yes! In fact, this is one of the longest standing and most strictly enforced laws to be established since this great nation was born. The punishment for this infraction has varied throughout time. And now, in these “times of terror,” the government isn’t playing around.

Tags: dagger, dagger press, law, mattress, smartass, tag