Forget Wall Street, Invest In Something That Really Has Growth Potential - American Celebrity

This installment of Ask A Smartass will attempt to tackle a question that has been on the minds of many Americans these days: Is our country in a recession? Warning: if you hate to hear about money issues or you love capitalism with all of your heart, you may not want to proceed in reading.

Due to a new experimental investing strategy in the country, the economy has hit a recession. Investments have been the strength of the United States economy, so when this risky experimental investment started, many thought nothing of it. But now, as investors have clearly made bad decisions, the entire country is suffering. You may be asking yourself, what is this new investment strategy? Well, it is all the rage now to invest in celebrities. Since they make so much money, why not have them take on shareholders and boost their income while taking others along for the ride.

This was a great idea. But when this started some years back, a lot of investors sunk their money in big names like Britney Spears, Ben Affleck and Lindsay Lohan. With Britney’s unbelievable meltdowns, her investors are experiencing net losses. And those who went ahead and decided to invest in her little sister Jamie Lynn … well, they got double screwed. Sometimes mental instability can be an asset when investing in a celebrity, like Russell Crowe or Quentin Tarantino. But Britney has what we celebrity investors like to call “the wrong kind of crazy.” And her sister is on her way there, let’s face it. Continue reading Forget Wall Street, Invest In Something That Really Has Growth Potential - American Celebrity

A Dagger Wine Review: Bodegas Alma Negra

This article marks the first of many to come. Prepare yourself, because my long dreamed about fantasy has become a reality: writing wine reviews. With the assistance of Wine World in Abingdon, I will be bringing you my opinions on wines from around the world. And as every first article needs a starting point, I have mine: Bodegas Alma Negra, which is a red blend of malbec and bonarda from the Mendoza region in Argentina.

At first smell, the wine gives off an oaky and deep cherry aroma. Being a person who seldom enjoys heavy oaks in my wine, I became a bit skeptical. But once the first sip entered my mouth and danced around my taste buds, my eyebrows perked up and a smile quickly took shape. This is an exceptional wine. The oaky and heavy cherry aromas trick you into thinking this will be a strong drink to be wrestled with, but the taste speaks a different language. The oak serves as a backdrop to the luscious cherry flavor and the wine tastes surprisingly light. Continue reading A Dagger Wine Review: Bodegas Alma Negra

Remove At Your Own Risk: Can you get in trouble for taking the tag off a mattress?

Got a question burning a hole in your brain? If so, you’re in luck. Here’s your chance ask ‘Ask a Smartass.’ Urban legend, true mystery or idiotic pondering, I will attempt to tackle anything. So, without further ado, I kick off this column with a question most people should be familiar with:

Can you really get in trouble with the law by removing a mattress tag?

The answer to this is simply: Yes! In fact, this is one of the longest standing and most strictly enforced laws to be established since this great nation was born. The punishment for this infraction has varied throughout time. And now, in these “times of terror,” the government isn’t playing around. Continue reading Remove At Your Own Risk: Can you get in trouble for taking the tag off a mattress?

27 Dresses: A Dramedy for both Man and Woman

Each year seems to bring more and more films released into theaters that do nothing short of underwhelm and disappoint. The genre that seems to top this list, besides horror, is the comedy-drama. Or as some in the business call it, dramedy.

For this reason, I have made a point to avoid the majority of these releases. But recently, in a screening of the new dramedy 27 Dresses, I was pleasantly surprised. And being a person who does not like movies that are billed as “chick flicks,” it is a big deal that I put my stamp of approval on this film.

The premise of 27 Dresses plays on the old formula of a woman hopelessly in love with a man who views her as nothing more than a friend and employee. Jane, played by Katherine Heigl, has been a bridesmaid in 27 weddings throughout her life. It’s what she excels at. But when it comes to her own love life, she doesn’t have the guts to let her boss know that she is uncontrollably in love with him. Continue reading 27 Dresses: A Dramedy for both Man and Woman

Walk Hard…right on out of the movie theater

These days most actors seem to be jumping at the chance to work with Judd Apatow.

Apatow, who has been credited with some of the best comedies to come out lately, has written The 40 Year Old Virgin, Fun With Dick And Jane and Knocked Up, and now seems to be the new “it” film guy of the moment.

In addition to attaching his name to comedy gems like those, he also boasts an even more impressive resume by having produced Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy, Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby and Superbad. As his new film, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, hit theaters, the magnitude of support from recognizable names is easily realized.

Too bad this time around Apatow missed the mark completely, despite having probably one of the strongest and most expansive cast of actors in Hollywood. This film also marked the first time John C. Reilly took to the big screen in a lead role. Continue reading Walk Hard…right on out of the movie theater

“The Closest Shave You’ve Ever Had” - Sweeny Todd

When I recently secured a spot for a screening of Tim Burton’s new film Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, I was elated to have the chance to see a Burton film before the masses.

See, I have been a huge Burton fan ever since I saw The Nightmare Before Christmas. And the trailers for Sweeney Todd looked as dark as ever, which is what I love about Burton’s projects. Then the day of the screening, I heard the film was nominated for four Golden Globes. This moved my excitement to the next level. Continue reading “The Closest Shave You’ve Ever Had” - Sweeny Todd

Potent Potables: Stop Whining, Start Wining

Have you ever gone to a liquor store searching for a nice bottle of wine, but instead found only a disgusted stare from the clerk when you had no clue what you were looking for?

Some time ago, I did. But after delving into the wonderful world of wine, I found out that simply asking for wine could end with you getting a bottle of just about anything. That is why I would propose that everyone learn some wine basics. This way, the next time you get back to that same liquor store, you can politely let the clerk know you won’t be needing their help anymore. Hint: this drives real wine nerds crazy.

Varietals

Your common wine novice is often heard ordering their wine merely by the color; red or white. And in some cases they are aware of a Rosé. Contrary to popular belief, not all reds and whites are the same. Now that you are an adult, you should be able to pick your grown-up drink by its proper classification and not the way you picked juice when you were a child. “I want the blue juice,” is what I remember saying when I was young. Continue reading Potent Potables: Stop Whining, Start Wining

Revenge of the Nerds

For most of us, the perfect definition of a nerd consists of only two words: Dungeons & Dragons.

For those who have been sheltered from the world of the overly-intellectual and hyper-fantasized, Dungeons & Dragons is rightfully the nerdiest thing in the world. But within this magical realm of Wizards and Halflings exists a group of people who greatly surpass D&Ders in their nerdy thirst for questing and goblin killing: we’re talking about Live Action Role Playing (LARPing for short).

The hobby of sitting in a friend’s Mom’s basement, drinking energy drinks, eating Cheetos and navigating through fictitious worlds of yore, started a long time ago and blossomed into a community of highly imaginative dreamers, who found a way they could escape their less than satisfying lives as students, accountants, corporate guinea pigs, etc. with the roll of a multi-sided die. But the new phenomenon called LARPing has taken that imaginative whimsy to a level that will forever claim ultimate nerdom.

Continue reading Revenge of the Nerds

And Now For Something Completely Different…

After keeping tabs on the political articles popping up on The Dagger lately, I came to the conclusion that some entertainment news needs to be inserted to break-up the seriousness of this site That’s why I have chosen to post a movie review. This time around I tackle David Cronenberg’s Eastern Promises.

I went to see Eastern Promises with the idea it would blow my mind. What I was left with was a very unsatisfying feeling. Now a days, when I go to the movies, I want a big surprising twist in the movie to awe me. But maybe that’s just asking for too much. Eastern Promises did not live up to the hype, but it was a solid film. Continue reading And Now For Something Completely Different…

From Blitzkrieg to Voltron; Local CEO Plans European Domination

Sitting through a State of the Company address when you work for a successful corporation can be interesting and off-putting at the same time. Just recently I was privy to one of these gatherings. And over the span of four hours, my demeanor gradually transitioned from bored to appalled.

As most CEOs like to start out, this particular head honcho decided to crack a few jokes. None were interesting enough to remember, but all of his cronies laughed, as I am sure they were instructed to. Finances, product changes, future plans and the history of the company were all covered in great length, hence the four hours. But my eyes were prompted to grow wide in shock when a few points were hit:

Shock Point #1: One of the CEO’s right-hand men proclaimed that the company is planning on changing the cultural landscape of Europe and steamrolling across the continent. This comment struck a chord in my brain and I was reminded of a German-style military tactic called the Blitzkrieg. I turned to a co-worker on my right and inquired, “what is this the Third Reich?” He looked back at me with the same wide-eyed expression I adorned and said, “I was just about to say the same thing.” Continue reading From Blitzkrieg to Voltron; Local CEO Plans European Domination